The Nicest Badass From Another Universe

We still think about the past, even though when it's so obvious that the future is embracing us. We still think about them, unforgettable stuff. Even though it's just a history. Are we really ready for a change? Or this is another illusion of our utopia? Why are we scared of the radical changes? Too much time to think? So little time to write and accept. Never appreciating the beauties, life gives us... We just want to take and think how awesome we are and how unselfish we are all the time even though it's completely the opposite... Will we ever learn? Do we suppose to believe? Does life is playing with us or some deity up there is testing us? ... I've been seeing some really messed up stuff... Ups and downs - highs and lows... This time; this can't be a coincidence. It just can't... I never imagined myself to feel superstitious... But here we are. And this is real. This is happening. I needed change. I AM CHANGING... I am evolving... And even though it scares t...

Dudes, Dudettes, Apache helicopters and Boobies, -(Another very "I'm a lover, not a fighter, but I crack your teeth"  post incoming.)   Hello y'all. Listen everyone. Let me clear it all up. This blog is my own personal complain bitchlog (yes I made it up)  I might post really sentimental stuff, poem, life complains...etc. basically whatever the fuck I want and yada yada yada... so if you'll get offended easily then I suggest you leave this site immediately and never come back! EVER! :3  Now where was I.  Oh yeah, MY ALLERGIES! THIS EFFIN' SEASONAL CHANGE SERIOUSLY WILL KILL ME SOMEDAY. I'm struggling with seeing a doc because of my anxiety... I'm anxious because I can't see a doc and I can't see a doc because I'm anxious. Vice versa! This is the evil circle I need to  get rid of...  Nowadays I don't feel like a human at all... Well I wasn't quite a human before as well but, this mental asylum (possibly baby Arkham) is ...

Verse 1: I love to write but, I usually write when I can't sleep. And mostly in the middle of the night or morning. My mind starts working and I can actually think those hours... My brain stops working in the day time, I can only create and get inspired at night time. My mom calls me night owl. I  am a true nyctophiliac. I'm okay with being one. Verse 2: i can't sleep, because I'm judging myself because I feel useless again. Thinking of weird past stuff again, loads of regrets, heart breaks, embarrassment, past life torture... Why am I still doing this? Verse 3: I'm stressed out. My allergies kicked in again. And every time I breathe i can hear the little noise in my lungs just like a baby hurricane... If I don't cough, I can not breathe. It's only October... Man, it looks like this winter will be rough for me, this time. I need a doc asap. But I have panic attack and even thinking about going away makes me feel really anxious... ...