Sunday 10 November 2019

The door is open and shut.

Hey there,

Is it just me or are you pushing your luck? I didn't like your tone at all... The door was always open but you never behaved. Who’s laughing now? You see, we both lost. It's true that I have artistic expressionism going on up in here and I'm not enjoying it one bit. If anything, it's a pure torture but I'm feeding from it. You're so full of hatred, I will never be like you!

I wanted and needed your help but you ARE poison. I'm not cold as ice nor I intend to be, I'm just an ordinary person, trying to survive by keep fucking up in my mind oh yeah in real life too... I see your Poe reference it's rather tasteless. How dare you hit me with this? It's so cruel and low even for a monster like you. I tried to keep my sanity because I knew it was never enough. I couldn't. It doesn't mean, I won't! Go back to your cave and get out of my face. Hmmm What's missing in our story here...?? (-are you seriously going to end the letter like this?)


"The Girl"

Ode to “The Girl”


Remember me? You wouldn’t dare to forget this face would you? Here we are my old friend. Long time no see... / — how long do you think I will stay in her life this time? This girl is fucking me up, dude and dudettes. — It’s like a fucking emotional roller coaster. I’m not that soft... man... have some respect for me. You say you want me and then turn away when I try to exist.
Let me take over, once in your life... and then the ravens take over, fuck and NEVERMORE!

You wanted me to save you and now you’re giving me this morphine bullshit whenever I try to speak!? I’m sorry but I can not stand your Poe ass. Always so fucking melancholic and dark... do you even pretend to smile? You’re cold as ice and I don’t think you have a heart. You only have your own bullshit going on but you can not see in front of you. Words ain't enough. You keep betraying me and it’s not cool. Fuck you and your pride. And your artistic expressions. Nobody fucking cares... there are a lot of you...

- Rotten

Sunday 22 September 2019

The girl in euphoria (Then there’s you)

I can smell your fragrance from here. Smells like green fairy on ice. Magical and mysterious. And I am worlds away. Oh, Undeniable chemistry... your words keep echoing in my head. Is it too late or too soon, my love? I wonder, while softly drifting to sirens lullby... I am yours and you are mine...

Behind the Red velvet curtains a vague image appear;

-Don’t play with fire, you are a mere mortal! You’ll turn into ashes before you’ll know!

- Is this real?

- You’ve witnessed the tranquil euphoric state, how can you deny it?

- I can still remember it’s flavour... I’m scared.

- We all are! Now go!

I open my eyes:

Notice the red apocalypse outside. It’s raining blood... Close them again with fear.

**Is this the life I want or willing to choose? Am I filled with happiness or mesmerised with the idea of it? Of the content feeling of peace? Starting over? Or trying to change everything because I need it? Am I running away?  None or all of them at once?**

Ill thoughts and rotten anxiety crawl back from the dead... rushes all over... I try to think straight but fail again. 

It’s dangerous here! RUN! 

Suddenly, vision of you enters the scene... Tall, pale long dark haired, big, bright reasuring blue-grey eyes... just like in my dream, years ago. You gently smile at me, when the angels die. I let the thoughts drift away with this sweet euphoria. 

What just happened? Now I am under your spell... it’s too late... too late. This is real. 

Saturday 21 September 2019

Prologue. (Selling tickets to hell)

Nobody cares, everybody cares! Getting some piece of you because they can! You feel it, oh you do, when their filthy claws enter your soul. So foul, impure, bitter, and numb. Chaotic, dirty and dumb! Beastly! I have no place in here. I don’t belong in here. Help me get out! LET ME OUT! it’s too dark in here with unholy faded whispers and laughter. LET... ME...


Nasty fiends!! 

I can’t breathe, sinking in these lies... I’ve had so much to give. And now I curse you, earthlings. By the time passing, you keep forgetting what makes you human. And so the assimilation begins!  

I despise your normality! Embrace my inner freak. Picking sides for what? Who are you saving? From who? I never agreed with you, why am I here? I am not like you! 

O’ sweet sweet liar, O’ poor sinner!

Consume more, eat eachother out. Soulless agents! I despise you! 

Trapped between past and the future but never the present! CURSE YOU! 

I am selling tickets to hell... and you are all eager to come. So howl with me, animals! follow me till you suffocate and give up.

But wait... I hear somebody’s calling.

... To be continued.

Tuesday 11 June 2019

Love Dust (It Off) - Beginning


      (The Informal beginning...)

        Keep it cool, keep it cool. Have some pride, damn it! Because either way you're failing. At least go down with dignity!

     What is it with you, your balls of steel and these weird shields of glass? Haven't you learnt anything? Begging and yearning for dusts of love.

     You can not win this battle, darling, everything's so mechanical and you know it. You're just waiting patiently for your turn to dissolve into... Even though your heart bleeds you have to...

   -  "Why aren't you finishing your sentences?"

   -  "... Why are you here?"

   -  "Because you're one in a million, I'm trying to save you."

   -   "Don't."

     Be less human, be less human! Feel less! Does it hurt? Good! It's not you... You have to adapt, don't ask questions, you might not like the answers.

     You won't be winning this battle. You might still win this war... Assimilation begins...

  -  "But, I wanna be with you... I want you!"

  -  *Tsk* "You're ridiculous... "

 -  "Meet me here tonight..."

To be Continued....

Saturday 18 May 2019

Tadım yok.

 Kekremsi bir tadla yolculuğa başladım. Bu tad beni nereye götürür bilmiyorum, tek bildiğim; zamanı güzel doldurabilmek... pişman olmamak için. (Daha da...)

 29 senelik rahat batması yaşıyorum, doğru. Fakat... bu hissiz, donuk suratı her aynada gördüğümde içimden birşeyler kopuyor. Sanki böyle olmamalıydı... Birşeyler yanlış ama...? 

 Hoşçakal demek hiç hoşça değil ki... bütün sevginin ve naifliğin kayboluşuna tanık oluyormuşum gibi... ama bir kere hasar verildi.

 O kadar güzel bir yalanla boyalı ki herşey, aklım almıyor. Dürüstlüğün ve naifliğin, yetersizlik-dezavantaj ve özürlülük olduğu bir oksijende nefes alıyorum. 

Neden herşey’i oluruna göre dönüştürülmeye çalışıyor da bunun üzerine ben "Zeitgeist"tan bahsedince deli oluyorum...?

Güzellikten bahsetmekten korkar oldum. Buranın daha ötesi olmazdı hani? Peki nedir bu tatminsizlik ve yüzeysellik? 

Ben aslında size de ait değilmişim ya... Ona yanıyorum. 

#Edit: Bugün, Amoeba’daydım ama tadım orda değildi... 𝘌𝘏...

Monday 1 April 2019

Dear Lucifer (dad); / the fallen

Dear Lucifer;

FATHER! The first sinner of them all!

Is there anything left to save now? Knowing anything and everything... I followed you since the beginning, never asked any questions or judged your authority. In return, you gave me addiction, lust, envy, greed... you infected me with the lies and now you have forsaken me... Lucifer. You’re the biggest lie of them all. May we burn in hell together for eternity, in that infernal pit...

No!... Not like this... not without a fight. One last battle... I have so much to give, to these poor mortals.

I’ve never gave into you. Yet, you claimed my soul. Is it because I was born from your throne? From the ashes you exhale? For what?? I asked you to let me out of this sick paradox. I always thought that we should’ve been allies but... I’m choosing him over you! Even though there’s evil in me.

Cr: Chris Dawn

Morning star! Bearer of Light! O’ sweet sweet enemy. I DEFY YOU!

You are the core of my wings. Owner of my crippled soul, the never ending fire... YOU!

you and I ...

... I, your evil spawn. NO MORE!. I defied the stars you brought and now I DEFY YOU! I will save these human race with confusing their minds... Yes, It won’t be easy. The  real villain in here is YOU! YOU MADE ME INTO THIS! FATHER!
But look at your child, She/he is the one who's wearing the fire horns now.

 I'll start with this very mindless, innocent girl. So pure and fragile. You warned me and forbade me to be with her 'till forever... Why? my one and only foe, WHY??? Alas... I WILL save her. And eliminate other threats that hurt her... because, it was I, who claimed her first! And she’s mine. And mine only! Until forever!                                                 
I love her! My love's endless and unconditional... It will scare you and your kind! Do not lay a finger on her. SHE IS MINE!

12 "How you are fallen from heaven,
O [a]Lucifer, son of the morning!
How you are cut down to the ground,
You who weakened the nations!
13 For you have said in your heart:
‘I will ascend into heaven,
I will exalt my throne above the stars of God;
I will also sit on the mount of the congregation
On the farthest sides of the north;
14 I will ascend above the heights of the clouds,
I will be like the Most High.’
15 Yet you shall be brought down to Sheol,
To the [b]lowest depths of the Pit.
16 "Those who see you will gaze at you,
And consider you, saying:
‘Is this the man who made the earth tremble,
Who shook kingdoms,5 
17 Who made the world as a wilderness
And destroyed its cities,
Who [c]did not open the house of his prisoners?’

I declare war!

Your son/daughter

- The Beast


Dear Specific Mortal;

It’s me... in human form, your pain in the neck. I’m writing this tiny piece because your actions are getting out of hand. And now it’s time to pin your thoughts down. It’s funny how you’re so certain of anything you spit. You’re in this shit hole for some years and now you know everything, huh? How smart-ass and fucked up you are. I love it! Seriously. I love how you inspect human race and judge them. You act like one of us, the unholy immortals. Do you really think you’re pure and honest. Awww honey, give me a fucking break. Some of us came here before time. And you, child, are certainly not one of us. A mere mortal, a tool. I would love to kill you in a heartbeat. But why not do this from the hard way... just for fun. So I’ll put on a show, just to entertain myself and her. I’ve seen many pathetic mortals since the invetion of time, just like you... do you know where they are now? Dead. Solid. Floating in the nothingness. I fed from the souls, which I never needed. They don’t call me the fallen one for nothing. Yes. Come to me with the newly hatched delusions. You can not ignore me. You can not cut me down. Because I’m looking at your face and smiling from the bottom of my heart with my sharp teeth. I’m a beautiful lie and in your every deadly thoughts and you yearn for shallowness... curious like a new born child. CAREFUL. Sit here and watch me. Let me put on a masterpiece. You’ll lose your tongue... Literally.

Much Love

-The Beast