Alakalar ve uç noktaları

 Dımdızlak kalırız bazen, insanlar vardır... bazıları eski bazıları yeni, Bazılarını hayatımıza sokmaya çalışırken onlar bunu fark etmezler ve daha da kulaç atarlar ufuğa doğru. Tam olarak neydi istediğimiz? tanırmıydık gerçektende onları ya da sadece yüzlerine bakıp sevmeye mi çalışırdık onları?


  Neden cevap vermez bazen? kim? hayır... Kötü bir zamanlama, hayır ondan da bahsetmiyorum aslında. Bilinmiyor hatta tahmin edilemiyor bile... Ne olurdu o gün gitseydim? daha mı farklı olur du? Yuvarlak bakıyorum hayata yine, ne istediğimi bilmeden... herşeyden tat almaya ve herşeye bulaşmaya çalışarak... neydi gerçekten istediğim?

Popular posts from this blog

Bay Thorne'un Veda Mektubu: Trajik Bir Aşk Baladı

Image
“Bu Sözlere Sahip Çıkacak Olana;     T üy kalemim parşömenle buluşurken, mürekkebim, düşüncelerim ve anılarımla birleşirken, bir gün bu satırları okuyacak olan, tanımadığım, zaman içinde kadere bağlı bir yabancı olan sizin varlığınızı hissediyorum. Çağlar sonra, varoluşumun mürekkep ve kağıda hapsedilmiş bir parçası olan bu mektubu keşfettiniz.  Sözlerimin sizde yankı bulup yılların ötesine geçen bir bağ kurmasını dileyerek, zamanda elimi uzatıyorum.   Calloway malikanesinin kalbinde, zarafet ve sırların ortasında, ben, Oliver Thorne, kendimi, hayatıma sonsuza dek şekil verecek bir aşk ve trajedi masalının içinde buldum. Ancak, bu hikayenin derinliklerine dalmadan önce, geçmişime bir göz atmama izin verin; beni bu ruhani dramın merkezindeki adama dönüştüren bir geçmişe.  Mütevazı koşullarda doğdum. Çocukluk günlerim, annemin kahkahaları ve ev yapımı ekmeğinin kulübemizde oluşturduğu rahatlatıcı aroması ile süslendi. O, benim yol gösterici ışığımdı, anlattığı hikayeler beni uzaklara, mü
Read more

The door is open and shut.

Image
Hey there, I s it just me or are you pushing your luck? I didn't like your tone at all... The door was always open but you never behaved. Who’s laughing now? You see, we both lost. It's true that I have artistic expressionism going on up in here and I'm not enjoying it one bit. If anything, it's a pure torture but I'm feeding from it. You're so full of hatred, I will never be like you! I wanted and needed your help but you ARE poison. I'm not cold as ice nor I intend to be, I'm just an ordinary person, trying to survive by keep fucking up in my mind oh yeah in real life too... I see your Poe reference it's rather tasteless. How dare you hit me with this? It's so cruel and low even for a monster like you. I tried to keep my sanity because I knew it was never enough. I couldn't. It doesn't mean, I won't! Go back to your cave and get out of my face. Hmmm What's missing in our story here...?? (-are you seriously going to end
Read more

Dear Lucifer (dad); / the fallen

Image
D ear Lucifer; FATHER! The first sinner of them all! Is there anything left to save now? Knowing anything and everything... I followed you since the beginning, never asked any questions or judged your authority. In return, you gave me addiction, lust, envy, greed... you infected me with the lies and now you have forsaken me... Lucifer. You’re the biggest lie of them all. May we burn in hell together for eternity, in that infernal pit... No!... Not like this... not without a fight. One last battle... I have so much to give, to these poor mortals. I’ve never gave into you. Yet, you claimed my soul. Is it because I was born from your throne? From the ashes you exhale? For  what?? I asked you to let me out of this sick paradox. I always thought that we should’ve been allies but... I’m choosing him over you! Even though there’s evil in me. Cr: Chris Dawn NOW, IT IS I, WHO DEFIES  YOU! LIKE YOU DEFIED YOUR FATHER! ...  Morning star! Bearer of Light! O’ sweet sweet ene
Read more

It always hits different after Almodóvar.

Image
    I cheers to that, with a sakazuki cup warming my palms, in the middle of the night. I close my eyes and frown with the song in the background, while it's hitting me differently. My fists start clenching as soon as I hear "that very" flamenco guitar with the saddest female vocal, an old mezzo with the agonizing lament with the most tormenting lines you can ever imagine...  I catch a whiff of an exquisite rose, tend to wilt. Pause. And imagine. It is there deep in your subconscious, where your brain often tells you not to go. Judas's reflection looks at me and shrugs - tells me that everything's going to be alright and then gives me the purest kiss on my cheek. I instantly feel like I'm in Eden again. It feels like home, I know this place. I have been here before. I can stay here for a while, guilt free.  This atmosphere is so warm and bracing, welcoming me with it's freshness, wants me to stay. I. know.  I start laughing like crazy with joy over the fee
Read more

Goner. (Humble Preacher)

Image
Dudes, Dudettes, Apache helicopters and Boobies, -(Another very "I'm a lover, not a fighter, but I crack your teeth"  post incoming.)   Hello y'all. Listen everyone. Let me clear it all up. This blog is my own personal complain bitchlog (yes I made it up)  I might post really sentimental stuff, poem, life complains...etc. basically whatever the fuck I want and yada yada yada... so if you'll get offended easily then I suggest you leave this site immediately and never come back! EVER! :3  Now where was I.  Oh yeah, MY ALLERGIES! THIS EFFIN' SEASONAL CHANGE SERIOUSLY WILL KILL ME SOMEDAY. I'm struggling with seeing a doc because of my anxiety... I'm anxious because I can't see a doc and I can't see a doc because I'm anxious. Vice versa! This is the evil circle I need to  get rid of...  Nowadays I don't feel like a human at all... Well I wasn't quite a human before as well but, this mental asylum (possibly baby Arkham) is
Read more