Friday 17 March 2017

I have zero discipline.

*** Clap Clap

   Psssst. Remember me? the one who chickened out big time? Everything happens for a reason you say. We'll see, I say. I just want to say, I have zero fucks to give. YES HAVE BIG ISSUES TO LIVE WITH EVERYDAY (the ones that you have no idea about) and AGAIN Depression, anxiety, panic attacks... they're all curses and gifts/ too tired to explain.

   I am just sitting here laughing. I have zero information/knowledge about this near future. It used to give me serious mental seizures. I am letting everything go. No plans. Not anymore. I will live. And I'm going to start doing that by INHALING THE WHOLE PLANET INTO MY NOSTRILS. Now watch me live.

How's that for a starter. ? ? ?

  P.S: I'd like to think my nostrils are huge. :)


- Giz

Monday 6 March 2017

Unhealthy Platonic Vibes

                This is how you write about conspiracy theories. There we go.

  Hi there. This is your girl, Rotten. You know the one who graduated from an Art School, yep one of those special snowflakes. Is she any different from anyone of us? But this is not our story. I got distracted again. I always do this.

   I can honestly say that; the more I think, the more I want to throw up. Where are my cigars? Oh yeah the customs. THEY WOULD LIKE TO FUCKING BAN THE SHIT OUT OF EVERY ENJOYABLE THING DON'T THEY? 8:14 ... Anyway. I don't want to "perform" another blasphemy. I took you for granted, Didn't I? I get it now. Sorry for not getting into Jpop a lot. Now I get it. Sorry for being too indie all the time. I still hold this sick thought of holding my self back. How can I show any balls if I don't have them? Can't decide if I wanna be this or that. Too stupid or arrogant or caveman of me.

  This is me writing to future you. Will I ever be one of you? I am pretty sure we're on the same level. What? Did you think that you are the new cool kids on the block. I trained hard, but stayed classy. Yet I'm too hardcore for shit. Too much and too independent on mind and heart. The reality was so harsh it crushed my brains out. Couldn't escape my own skin.

  But this is me, trying again. Giving the little one another chance. In fact this time she'll get as much as chances, as much as she wants. She deserved it. Have a little pat on the back kiddo. You rock for being an awesome human being.

  This is me making peace of my own human-ness... And now I'm changing the subject.

 I feel sick to my stomach. What kind of conspiracy theory is this? I get it though. A brilliant one. So clever, it makes me think why haven't I thought of that before. Oh wait... I have. Haven't I?... But let's see. Someone else is cashing out those royalties, certainly not me. That's fine though. I would like to make peace with that broken little angel.... What will they say?

P.S: Stop chickening out.



Wednesday 1 March 2017

I hear the birds chirping.

I hear the birds chirping. Beautiful creatures. I am counting down the minutes. 06:08 a.m. Are you trying to tell me something? The world is actually a small place. Let's forget all of our regrets and try again. 

It's still dark outside. But I have hopes. I don't want it to be the day time. But then again, I've been always like this. I enjoy this silence. Doing nothing, just chilling. Ignoring my fears, regrets and defeats. Poor child. Bless her soul. She will see you there. When will she go back home again? Unknown. Unclear. False.