Uhm... I think I might have an insomnia. I always try to sleep early but my brain resists and distracts me with all those magical knowledge shimmery sparkling dusts. They're hidden in different places. They like to hide. I don't understand, why hide in the night? why would you want me to find you at the night time? why try to turn me into this sociopathic creature? Am I dangerous? I still can not answer this question. Till this day. Very scary.
Anyhowzies, I literally can not wake up at the day time. This is getting out of hand. I do not live at the day time. I even despise the sun... I wasn't like this before. I was a whole cuddly loving pink creature with issues. But now, I am all that BUT A FUCKING GROWN UP AS WELL! This is me writing these words in her late twenties... It gets worse I can feel that. I even started to use fucking anti aging products. I'm going full paranoid. I try to stick up my diet, my exercises and drinking water. But all those daily destructions plus 4 doggies, 8 kitties and a turtle keeps me well busy. Although I feel like I do not do shit or even interact with them too much, I must have done things cuz they're all clingy towards me, which is a good thing I guess. I feel like Genius hates me sometimes though. After many pet - human deaths I feel a bit cold blooded. Even when they fight with each other, my folks lose their minds but I always be the one who go "Gryffindor" on their asses. I have battle scars, literally and figuratively. I've been trying my best, although under appreciated. I kept my silence and kindness. I can't say all for nothing. But each and every time I can see that they want more. Because too much is never enough. I am so tired of this distractive and bad vampiric aura-energy. Surrounded by it. It's possible my house is their layer or something. I feel like where ever I go it'll follow me. That's not my fault or my folks fault, I know. They're trying to over protective but then now they don't care? wut? I don't understand. I am trying to get the fuck out of what is bothering me. It's usually a place. I don't know what the future will bring. But I have dreams and hopes, yes still. I do not want to do anything I do not want to. My brain needs to subliminally scratch the message into it's core "YOU ARE AN INDEPENDENT PERSON YOU CAN DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT TO DO."
But then again there goes money, my youth, my sanity, and the time that I will never change back...
P.S: I fucking love to ruin myself in the middle of a "night" *ahem* morning. Nice one Giz, way to go.
Obviously...
