Here I am, just sitting here... so tired of searching things my brain hurts, it's hard to keep my eyes open. I don't care... I've been listening this song since yesterday... the melody of it haunts my eardrums and brain. How could I escape? Is it even simple?
I am not even sad. Just emotionless... quite dark but still not. Still I can sense fear deep inside me I don't know how to find it, I care less about it. Why does this melody still haunt me? When I heard that I shivered, I couldn't think, I didn't care... I just wanted to forget anything about everything for a minute and stare, just stare. I even wonder if this is a job of the rain? Maybe clouds are angry, but what did I do to them? Moon? even you!? please... not today. I gave up everything I "want" well... at least froze. I can't write lyrics or a poem or a song or even continue to my songs or my book or study Japanese or draw a portrait or meet my friends or care about their life. What is happening to me? It's been one year... But I'm so afraid to leave this "dream". I'm not living a dream like you think but just it's my dream whether is a nightmare... I'm used to it. But sometimes I do yearn for the real world. I keep trying. I'm trying my best. It's never enough. I've fought so hard for everything... I'm tired why don't you understand and leave me be ... Sun, you're my only hope now. Convince the moon, I need the moon back, by my side... Because I don't think I will continue like this anymore...
Ah, the guardian angel, I can not let light pass through this earth, which is full of lies... I am standing back. Don't come near me. What is a light anything to do with flesh? It doesn't help. The one who sent you... Was it a good will or a bad will? Do you know what's behind all of this? or are you a messenger? You can not help me, I know you try but you know you can't, don't even trust me. I don't even trust me! Just come with the moon. But not near.
